GULF BREEZE, FLA – Starbucks has a variety of employees of different ages, genders, backgrounds and religions. A middle aged barista manned the register at a Florida Starbucks on a cold December morning. He donned a Christmas theme Starbucks apron but underneath the apron was a shirt that said:

“You have to be your strongest, when you feel at your weakest.”

Great phrase right? How poetic. How prophetic. And ideally it’s not a bad idea to tap into the inner strength you possess when the world seems to be collapsing around you.

But at what cost?

Choosing strength at the weakest points in our lives may get us through the moment. But let’s not kid ourselves. That choice comes with a price tag and most of us haven’t verified our emotional capital before we swipe the strength debit card. Opting for strength over weakness cost us our emotional health and well-being. Tapping into the strength bank, when you’re psychologically living paycheck to paycheck puts your soul in emotional jeopardy. It’s OK to be fragile and vulnerable. It’s not only OK but quite common and normal human emotions.

But most of us play by the same rules: fake it to make it. Gen X is known for the Warren Zevon coined phrase, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” What that T-shirt means to say is: Suck It Up Buttercup, Get Your Act Together, Cowboy Up, or in the words of Elsa in Disney’s Frozen, ‘Conceal Don’t Feel ‘.

So where’s the how to manual on shoving our reality into a safety deposit box and replacing it with a platinum “strength” credit card? Quick answer is there isn’t one. Why? Because no mental health professional would recommend a transaction that exchanges our emotional well-being for inauthentic displays of strength simply to make others around us feel comfortable. It’s ok to express your weakness and if the people around you can’t handle that level of vulnerability, then your mission is to surround yourself with people who can.